Domestic violence- the facts revisited
Nov 21Fact #1: 17.6 % of women in the United States have survived a completed or attempted rape. Of these, 21.6% were younger than age 12 when they were first raped, and 32.4% were between the ages of 12 and 17. (Full Report of the Prevalence, Incidence, and Consequences of Violence Against Women, Findings from the National Violence Against Women Survey, November, 2000)
Fact #2: 64% of women who reported being raped, physically assaulted, and/or stalked since age 18 were victimized by a current or former husband, cohabiting partner, boyfriend, or date. (Full Report of the Prevalence, Incidence, and Consequences of Violence Against Women, Findings from the National Violence Against Women Survey, November, 2000)
Fact #3: Only about half of domestic violence incidents are reported to police. African-American women are more likely than others to report their victimization to police Lawrence A. Greenfeld et al. (1998). (Violence by Intimates: Analysis of Data on Crimes by Current or Former Spouses, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends. Bureau of Justice Statistics Factbook. Washington DC: U.S. Department of Justice. NCJ #167237. Available from National Criminal Justice Reference Service.)
Fact #4: The FBI estimates that only 37% of all rapes are reported to the police. U.S. Justice Department statistics are even lower, with only 26% of all rapes or attempted rapes being reported to law enforcement officials.
Fact #5: In the National Violence Against Women Survey, approximately 25% of women and 8% of men said they were raped and/or physically assaulted by a current or former spouse, cohabiting partner, or date in their lifetimes. The survey estimates that more than 300,000 intimate partner rapes occur each year against women 18 and older. (Full Report of the Prevalence, Incidence, and Consequences of Violence Against Women, Findings from the National Violence Against Women Survey, November, 2000)
Fact #6: The National College Women Sexual Victimization Study estimated that between 1 in 4 and 1 in 5 college women experience completed or attempted rape during their college years (Fisher 2000).
Fact #7: Men perpetrate the majority of violent acts against women (DeLahunta 1997).
Fact #8: Every two minutes, somewhere in America, someone is sexually assaulted. (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) calculation based on 2000 National Crime Victimization Survey. Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Department of Justice)
Fact #9: One out of every six American women have been the victims of an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime. (Prevalence, Incidence and Consequences of Violence Against Women Survey, National Institute of Justice and Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 1998)
Fact #10: Factoring in unreported rapes, about 5% – one out of twenty – of rapists will ever spend a day in jail. 19 out of 20 will walk free. (Probability statistics based on US Department of Justice Statistics)
Fact #11: Fewer than half (48%) of all rapes and sexual assaults are reported to the police (DOJ 2001).
Fact #12: Sexual violence is associated with a host of short- and long-term problems, including physical injury and illness, psychological symptoms, economic costs, and death (National Research Council 1996).
Fact #13: Rape victims often experience anxiety, guilt, nervousness, phobias, substance abuse, sleep disturbances, depression, alienation, sexual dysfunction, and aggression. They often distrust others and replay the assault in their minds, and they are at increased risk of future victimization (DeLahunta 1997).
Fact #14: According to the National Crime Victimization Survey, more than 260,000 rapes or sexual assaults occurred in 2000; 246,180 of them occurred among females and 14,770, among males (Department of Justice 2001).
Fact #15: Sexual violence victims exhibit a variety of psychological symptoms that are similar to those of victims of other types of trauma, such as war and natural disaster (National Research Council 1996). A number of long-lasting symptoms and illnesses have been associated with sexual victimization including chronic pelvic pain; premenstrual syndrome; gastrointestinal disorders; and a variety of chronic pain disorders, including headache, back pain, and facial pain (Koss 1992).Between 4% and 30% of rape victims contract sexually transmitted diseases as a result of the victimization (Resnick 1997).
Fact #16: More than half of all rapes of women occur before age 18; 22% occur before age 12. (Full Report of the Prevalance, Incidence, and Consequences of Violence Against Women, Findings from the National Violence Against Women Survey, November, 2000)
Fact #17: In 2000, nearly 88,000 children in the United States experienced sexual abuse (ACF 2002).
Fact #18: About 81% of rape victims are white; 18% are black; 1% are of other races. (Violence Against Women, Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Dept. of Justice, 1994.)
Fact #19: About half of all rape victims are in the lowest third of income distribution; half are in the upper two-thirds. (Violence against Women, Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Dept. of Justice, 1994.)
Fact #20: According to the Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance Survey (YRBSS), a national survey of high school students, 7.7% of students had been forced to have sexual intercourse when they did not want to. Female students (10%) were significantly more likely than male students (5%) to have been forced to have sexual intercourse. Overall, black students (10%) were significantly more likely than white students (7%) to have been forced to have sexual intercourse (CDC 2002).
Fact #21: Females ages 12 to 24 are at the greatest risk for experiencing a rape or sexual assault (DOJ 2001).
Fact #22: Almost two-thirds of all rapes are committed by someone who is known to the victim. 73% of sexual assaults were perpetrated by a non-stranger (— 38% of perpetrators were a friend or acquaintance of the victim, 28% were an intimate and 7% were another relative.) (National Crime Victimization Survey, 2005)
Fact #23: The costs of intimate partner violence against women exceed an estimated $5.8 billion. These costs include nearly $4.1 billion in the direct costs of medical care and mental health care and nearly $1.8 billion in the indirect costs of lost productivity and present value of lifetime earnings. (Costs of Intimate Partner Violence Against Women in the United States, Department of Health and Human Services, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Atlanta, Georgia, March 2003).
Fact #24: Domestic violence occurs in approximately 25-33% of same-sex relationships. (NYC Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence Project, October 1996.)
Fact #25: Boys who witness their fathers’ violence are 10 times more likely to engage in spouse abuse in later adulthood than boys from non-violent homes. (Family Violence Interventions for the Justice System, 1993)
Fact #26: An estimated 50,000 women and children are trafficked into the United States annually for sexual exploitation or forced labor. (U.S. Central Intelligence Agency, 2000)
Fact #27: Somewhere in America a woman is battered, usually by her intimate partner, every 15 seconds. (UN Study On The Status of Women, Year 2000)
Fact #28: A University of Pennsylvania research study found that domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to low-income, inner-city Philadelphia women between the ages of 15 to 44 – more common than automobile accidents, mugging and rapes combined. In this study domestic violence included injuries caused by street crime.
Fact #29: Following the Supreme Court’s decision in 2000 to strike down the civil-rights provision of the Federal Violence Against Women Act (ruling that only states could enact such legislation), only two states in the country (Illinois and California) have defined gender-based violence, such as rape and domestic violence, as sex discrimination, and created specific laws that survivors can use to sue their perpetrators in civil court. (Kaethe Morris Hoffer, 2004).
Fact #30: A study reported in the New York Times suggests that one in five adolescent girls become the victims of physical or sexual violence, or both, in a dating relationship. (New York Times, 8/01/01)
GLOBAL STATISTICS
Fact #31: At least 60 million girls who would otherwise be expected to be alive are “missing” from various populations, mostly in Asia, as a result of sex-selective abortions, infanticide or neglect. (UN Study On The Status of Women, Year 2000)
Fact #32: Globally, at least one in three women and girls is beaten or sexually abused in her lifetime. (UN Commission on the Status of Women, 2/28/00)
Fact #33: A recent survey by the Kenyan Women Rights Awareness Program revealed that 70% of those interviewed said they knew neighbors who beat their wives. Nearly 60% said women were to blame for the beatings. Just 51% said the men should be punished. (The New York Times, 10/31/97)
Fact #34: 4 million women and girls are trafficked annually. (United Nations)
Fact #35: An estimated one million children, mostly girls, enter the sex trade each year (UNICEF)
Fact #36: A 2005 World Health Organization study reported that nearly one third of Ethiopian women had been physically forced by a partner to have sex against their will within the 12 months prior to the study. (WHO Multi-country Study on Women’s Health and Domestic Violence Against Women, 2005)
Fact #37: In a study of 475 people in prostitution from five countries (South Africa, Thailand, Turkey, USA, and Zambia):
62% reported having been raped in prostitution.
73% reported having experienced physical assault in prostitution.
92% stated that they wanted to escape prostitution immediately.
(Melissa Farley, Isin Baral, Merab Kiremire, Ufuk Sezgin, “Prostitution in Five Countries: Violence and Posttraumatic Stress Disorder” (1998) Feminism & Psychology 8 (4): 405-426)
Fact #38: The most common act of violence against women is being slapped—an experience reported by 9% of women in Japan and 52% in provincial Peru. Rates of sexual abuse also varies greatly around the world—with partner rape being reported by 6% of women from Serbia and Montenegro, 46% of women from provincial Bangladesh, and 59% of women in Ethiopia. (WHO Multi-country Study on Women’s Health and Domestic Violence Against Women, 2005)
Fact #39: So-called “honour killings” take the lives of thousands of young women every year, mainly in North Africa, Western Asia and parts of South Asia. (UNFPA)
Fact #40: The Human Rights Commission of Pakistan reported that 2002 saw a 25% increase in “honor killings” of women, with 461 women murdered by family members in 2002, in 2 provinces (Sindh and Punjab) alone. (Pakistan Human Rights Commission, 2002)
Fact #41: More than 90 million African women and girls are victims of female circumcision or other forms of genital mutilation. (Heise: 1994)
Fact #42: In eastern and souther Africa, 17 to 22% of girls aged 15 to 19 are HIV-positive, compared to 3 to 7% of boys of similar age. This pattern—seen in many other regions of the world—is evidence that girls are being infected with HIV by a much older cohort of men. (UNICEF/UNAIDS 2007)
Fact #43: : A 2005 study reported that 7% of partnered Canadian women experienced violence at the hands of a spouse between 1999 and 2004. Of these battered women, nearly one-quarter (23%) reported being beaten, choked, or threatened with a knife or gun. (Family Violence in Canada: A Statistical Profile, 2005)
Fact #44: In Zimbabwe, domestic violence accounts for more than 60% of murder cases that go through the high court in Harare. (ZWRCN)
Fact #45: a study in Zaria, Nigeria found that 16 percent of hospital patients treated for sexually transmitted infections were younger than 5. (UNFPA)
LINKS TO STATISTICS:
The following are a selection of other web sites at which to find and verify violence against women statistics:
- Bureau of
Justice: Crime and Victim Statistics - Department of Justice's
Office on Violence Against Women
Family Violence Prevention Fund- RAINN Statistics
- Violence
Against Women Online Resources - World
Health Organization: Gender Based Violence
Source Feminist.com
How do you leave for the last time..
Nov 16Q. How do you leave for the last time and not worry about anything happening to you or him? Every time I leave his health furthers gets worse. He has stage4 cancer and he is a pain in my ass to live with. He beats me all the time. I can’t do anything right not walk, talk, stand or anything. I’m sick of it all it is too much for me to handle and there is no one who can help. I pay for everything.
Our heart goes out to you- this October
Oct 19A cry for help- a women are dreamers too chat transcript
* A cry for Help- Pls help her- this Mother’s day w’kend!
* May 7th, 2010 by admin
* Your chat session ID is 7DI20.
* You are now in a live chat session with …..
* Guest (11: 40:07): Hi,
* a specialist (11: 40:10): How can I help you Guest
* a specialist (11: 46:21): Are you still here Guest
* Guest (11: 47:10): I have talked to someone there before. I’m 54, married and he beats me. I have left many times. I am afraid that he will beat me up this weekend and I have to be very careful because I have eye surgery next week. I cannot take a chance on him beating me with a bat on my head. He is inclined to do this and I just don’;t want to return to him ever. He has threatened to take my job and have me arrested if I leave, again. I could be arrested for taking the cell phone which is in his name but I pay all the bills. He is suffering from brain cancer with a lot of other complications and now his ears are ringing because he has meniere’s disease. I am very tempted to go to a dv shelter but the last time I was there was in 2/10 so they may not let me go there again. I did call but there aren’t that many shelters with openings today.
* a specialist (11: 49:10): Do you wish the Illinois coalition on your behalf
* Guest(11: 51:29): I have talked to them but they are in Springfield not Chicago. They will only tell you to call the national dv number or chicago dv. By this being mother’s day weekend, I would go to my sister’s but I know she will be with her children. So that won’t be a good idea.
* a specialist (11: 56:51): How can we help Guest?
* a specialist (11: 57:19): D’u need for us to help in Chicago?
* a specialist (11: 58:23): Can you tell us the nearest hotel to you?
* a specialist (11: 58:49): Maybe you could stay for couple of day?
* Guest(12: 04:13): I needed someone to talk to, someone to tell me not to be afraid to leave but this time no matter what, don’t go back. I always go back because he calls me and tells me that he hasn’t eaten and he can’t go the bathroom because he can’t take his pills. His blatter witl burst. He’s dizzy and he fell down. The list goes on and on. I know he’s not lying because he is dying from cancer. When I would leave before one of his friends would come over and take him to the hospital. Now, this friend is dead so there is no one to help him. I must be sick to care about him. I must break from this vicious circle. I don’t have enought money for a hotel bill and staying away for a couple of days wouldn’t work. If I go I go for good. I have gone for a few days before, like 75 times before, according to him.
* a specialist (12: 06:10): what can we do, should we call the Coalition for you to intercept and locate help in Chicago
* a specialist (12: 07:58): can you give us your number or can you call us
* Guest (12: 08:49): No. I’ll call them. (blank) is my #.
* a specialist (12: 09:59): Can you pls. and we will call from here too so they can help quicker
* a specialist (12: 10:31): If you call and no one seems to help pls. e-mail notodv@wadt.org
* a specialist (12: 11:14): We shall have one of our reps call too and we shall call you back with an update
* —————————————————————
General and Internet Safety Dating Tips
Oct 17
General and Internet Safe Dating Tips- National Coalition of Anti-violence programs
Considering the large number of people who have met online for sex and dating, the occurrence of violence is relatively low. But there are some people who cruise with intention to harm. If you are targeted by one of these people, it is important to know it is NOT YOUR FAULT.
Nobody has the right to violate your boundaries or commit violence against you.
The following tips may help you identify when someone you are meeting has negative intentions.
Trust your gut.
When meeting up with someone new, if you get a feeling that something isn’t right, trust your instinct and exit the situation. If you are afraid of offending the person, you can do so politely.
But what if I am overreacting? Sometimes I feel uncomfortable but can’t actually name a reason.
Trust your gut! It has gotten you this far Sometimes, we get a feeling of discomfort or fear based on cues that we can’t identify at that time. Our survival instincts sense danger faster than our logical mind. You may not be able to identify what made you nervous until later.
Get a face pic and phone number before meeting them:
A picture is better than simply a physical description. If they send you a picture, but the person who shows up looks nothing like it, that is a sign that you should probably exit the situation. If the person knows you have their photo in your email inbox, it could make them wary of doing something to harm you. A phone number allows you to talk beforehand (more on this below) and is another piece of information you can leave around or give to a friend.
If/When you decide to meet someone in person, meet in public:
If you are only conversing online, you may not have enough information to assess someone’s intentions. If you agree to meet up with only one person, but multiple people show up, do not go with them. If you meet up and the person doesn’t look like the picture, ask them about it. If they don’t have a satisfactory answer, exit.
But why meet in public if we are meeting up for sex only?
To be safe, meet in public close to your destination, and spend a few minutes talking about what you want to do (and what you don’t want to do) sexually. This gives you some time to get a sense of this person with others around.
Meeting in private:
I really don’t want to meet in public. Is it safer for me to host or for them to host?
There are safety advantages and disadvantages to both.
If you host:
• Leave all valuables out of sight, locked away, or with a trusted friend.
• Keep items that could be weapons out of sight (scissors, knives, bats, etc).
· Stay awake the entire time the person is there – no sleepovers the first time. Items can disappear while you are asleep and your safety could be in jeopardy.
· Generally speaking, it is better not to host if you don’t live in a secure building. Remember, after one visit, the person knows where you live.
· Keep your cell phone charged and close to you at all times*. If someone refuses to leave when you ask them, some options include using command type language (i.e. “Get out of my house now”), calling police, calling a friend, or activating your silent alarm (more below). Do what makes the most sense to you.
· *The police or your friend(s) can’t be there immediately after you call. This is a good safety measure to employ, but don’t count on it being your only one.
If they host:
· PLEASE tell at least one person the exact address where you will be and for how long.
· Set up a silent alarm (more on this below).
· Bring your phone and keep it charged.
· Do not accept drinks, even water, at the person’s home unless you observe the drink being poured. Date rape drugs have no odor or flavor even in water.
· If somebody else is at the home when you get there, exit. Most people hosting a guest will ask roommates to clear out.
· If at any point you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, leave immediately. You don’t have to give an explanation. If someone prevents you from leaving, firmly re-state your intention to leave. More under the “Use your Voice” section below.
Isn’t it rude to leave? What if we haven’t ‘finished?’ Shouldn’t I finish what I started?
NO. You have the right to change your mind and cease sexual activity at any stage.
Your emotional and physical safety comes first. Consenting does not take away your right to stop. If someone doesn’t respect a boundary you set, no matter how small, this is a sign that they may not respect other boundaries as well. You deserve to be respected at all times. Leave if they do something you ask them not to. You will find other sexual partners.
Meeting in public:
· Meeting up in well-lit place is best, a café or restaurant with other people around.
· If you would rather meet at a bar or a club, remember to get your own drinks. If you drink at all, drink only a bit. Intoxication may be seen as a vulnerability.
· If someone insists on getting your drink for you, tell them no. If they still don’t respect that, please do not to take the drink and consider ending your time with the person.
· Another advantage of meeting in public is that you can bring friends with you. They can watch your back and they can let you know their impressions of your date.
· If you decide to leave with the person, get the address of where you’ll be and their phone number. Introduce them to the bartender, friends, or acquaintances before leaving. Let them know you gave info to your friends so they know where you are for safety.
Asserting Your Boundaries:
Use your voice.
Will someone really stop if I tell them to? What if I just make them angry?
One should always take verbal threats seriously, but know that verbal self-defense is a great first line of defense. Resistance breaks the assailant’s script and places doubt in their mind about their ability to commit the crime. Note: there is a difference between being aggressive and assertive. Being aggressive is often perceived as confrontational and threatening.
To de-escalate a situation, it is important to criticize the behavior, not the person. We can exercise our rights without denying the rights of others by choosing to be assertive Below are steps to assertive communication:
· Maintain confident body language- Stand/sit tall, keep your head up, shoulders back
· Make eye contact.
· Respond firmly and quickly.
· Speak in a steady, calm voice.
· Use clear, command-type language, and use “I‐statements” (i.e. “I feel uncomfortable when you talk to me that way and I want you to stop.”).
· Be specific as to what behavior it is you want stopped.
· Send a clear and consistent message with your words, voice, eyes, and body language.
More verbal techniques:
Name The Behavior that the person has just done or said that has made you feel uncomfortable (i.e. “Stop touching me after I’ve asked you to stop.”).
Broken Record Technique involves repeating your command. This is especially useful when someone appears intoxicated or is indecisive on what to do next. (i.e. “Leave my apartment now. Leave my apartment now!)
Make A Scene and Enlisting the Help of Others strips the person of the power of secrecy and sends the message that you are not ashamed to call attention to the situation in public.
It also lets others around you know what is happening. To enlist the help of others be directive (i.e. pick a person out of the crowd and address them directly with commands such as “Call 911!”)
Reasoning or Negotiation will distract an assailant. They are expecting things to go a certain way, and you responding differently throws them off. Negotiation may include asking the assailant to use a condom, put a weapon down, or to move to a different location. THIS IS NOT THE SAME AS GIVING CONSENT! You may decide at any point to resist, escape or comply. All are options for survival.
Making Yourself Human/Distraction violates the assailant’s idea you of being fearful and silent. When you are active, you become real and not necessarily what they expect. It is more difficult to hurt someone who is seen as a human being rather than an object.
What is a Silent Alarm?
There are numerous ways to utilize your cell phone as a safety tool. If you do not have a cell phone, and you are not going to be in public place, try to make sure there will be a landline before you agree to go. Tell one friend that, if everything is going well with your date/ hook up, you will call or text at a specific time (usually after the date is over) with a specific code word. It should be something not guessable – i.e. NOT “all is well,” “I’m fine,” etc.
This word (could be a color or a flavor of ice cream or a fruit, for example) tells the friend that all is well and the alarm is disarmed. Beforehand, tell your friend the address of where you will be and you both agree on the code words and what the friend should do if you do not call.
Typically, the agreement is that if you call and say ‘everything is fine’ but do not use the code word, the friend should call police. And if you do not call or text at all at the time agreed upon, the friend should call you. If you do not answer or if you answer and do not say the code word, your friend should call the police.
I really don’t want to tell my friends that I am cruising online. I am embarrassed about it. Plus, I don’t know if any of them would even do this for me.
TONS of people meet online. It is nothing to be embarrassed about. But even if it’s not possible to confide in someone, it is possible set up the alarm without telling them exactly why. If you really do not want anyone to know, or you don’t feel like you have time to set one up, leave the picture of the person you are meeting open on the desktop of your computer and leave your computer on, with the person’s name, e-mail address or chat name, phone number, and address of where you’ll be written down nearby and easily visible.
A few other reminders:
· Set up an anonymous e-mail account if you plan to communicate outside of a dating site.
· Do not publish your address, phone number, or e-mail address in personal ads.
· Ask lots of questions when chatting, but don’t necessarily take every answer at face value. Remember online, you cannot read nonverbal, body language cues.
· If someone is abusive to you online, block them right away.
· If you decide to meet in person, do not rely upon your date for transportation and do not provide transportation for them.
I am Transgender. Should I tell my date? And if so, when?
There is no absolute right or wrong answer to these questions. Such a decision is very personal. Above all else, remember it is your right to choose if or when to discuss your gender identity, your genitals, or any other part of your body. If someone insults or attacks you because of their expectations about your body, that is NEVER YOUR FAULT.
Do I have to disclose the fact that I am trans to my partner?
NO. Plenty of non-trans people do not have discussions about their gender or their bodies prior to having sex. However, while you do not owe it to anybody to talk about your genitals prior to a sexual encounter, it may be safer to do so. It may also be less awkward or uncomfortable in general.
So it may be ideal make space to have a conversation about the type of sex you would like to have beforehand. If this is simply not your style or not an option, that is okay.
In terms of safety, there are advantages and disadvantages to disclosing in various situations. Your decision may be different depending on the person you are talking with and how sensitive or aware they seem.
Disclosing in a personal ad:
The advantage of this is that you have a better shot at weeding out people who are unfamiliar with trans people which may mean not having to endure as many annoying questions on a date. Another distinct advantage is attracting people who are specifically attracted to your gender identity and/or your body type. Disadvantages? You may also attract people who eroticize trans people in a non-respectful way. If you feel any discomfort from the language someone uses with you in an e-mail, feel free to tell them so and/or ignore or block them.
Disclosing in an e-mail or chat:
If you are responding to another person’s ad, disclosing at some point during the chat or e-mail exchange is an option. Again, you have the advantage of getting the conversation at least started before you meet in person and if there is a negative reaction, you don’t have to deal with it face-to-face. A possible disadvantage could be that if someone responds negatively, they could potentially forward your e-mail or publicly ‘out’ you online or otherwise invade your privacy. This is why it is good to create an anonymous e-mail account.
Disclosing over the phone:
Privacy violations or public outing are probably less likely to happen this way if someone responds negatively. Also, being able to hear someone’s tone of voice and gage their language use in real time can be helpful. E-mail and chatting can easily be ‘rehearsed’ and can be less authentic. A phone conversation can give you a more realistic impression of how sensitive or knowledgeable someone is about trans people.
Disclosing when cruising in person:
Some trans people, when meeting potential dates or sex partners in person, choose to reveal information about trans identity and/or body before a sexual encounter. Unlike an online conversation, you will be able to read body language and other nonverbal cues. Often times, discussions about trans identity can be accompanied by discussions of what the two of you do and do not want to happen, and discussions about safer sex.
Disclosing on a date:
A date can be an ideal time to talk about gender identity, since general discussions about your lives, background, family, etc will likely be happening. If someone responds in a way that makes you uncomfortable, you will be in public. Again, it can be brought up in the context of a safer sex discussion, or in the context of your past.
Disclosing during a sexual encounter:
Some people choose to have gender identity, genitalia‐related, and/or safer sex discussions at this point. It may feel like having the discussion prior would be assuming too much or that the opportunity just wasn’t there. Waiting until this point does in fact allow you to be certain that a sexual encounter is desired. One potential disadvantage however is that you may no longer be in public at this point if the person responds in a threatening manner.
Also, sexual conversations can actually sometimes be less awkward when they are brought up in a non‐ sexual setting, like a public place. Sometimes it can actually be harder to talk about personal, sexual topics after sexual activity has already begun.
‐‐‐‐‐‐
These are safety tools that have been useful for some people in some situations. You are never responsible for the actions of someone else, so you are not to blame if following some or none or all of these tips doesn’t prevent an attack.
Tips like these can sometimes feel silly or paranoid, but they can often be helpful when meeting strangers. Use the ones that fit best for you. Follow your instincts, and remember that you do not deserve to be mistreated.
Changing the conversation on Domestic violence- October awareness month
Oct 12We are launching a Month long Campaign about our activities at Women Are Dreamers Too, regarding domestic violence. October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.. remembering victims and survivors all Month Long
The need for victims of domestic violence to seek help, the need for them to speak up against these abuses, the need to share their experiences, so others may learn and they themselves may heal and finally, the need for the communities across This Great Nation to join us in this struggles plaguing women still in 2010.
Below is our Radio interview on the Nadia Sahari show Author of ‘Breakaway- How I survived abuse’, a friend of Women Are Dreamers Too.
We addressed on The show The need to care about abused victims and their children, the need to create violence free communities across This Great Nation, the need for victims to seek help. Finally we addressed our current efforts at Women Are Dreamers Too to create immediate income for abused victims and their children with Our CNA program, given the current economic atmosphere…and the conversation continues, click below to listen in…
Life in a shelter for abused women is hard to explain- CH
Oct 06Life in a shelter for abused women is hard to explain. The broken lives are scattered all around you in the shape of the other women and children that are staying in the same safe house as you are. It is somewhat like being in a college dormitory. Except nobody is laughing or smiling. Everybody is trying to piece back together whatever they can salvage out of the wreckage of the marriages or relationships they are leaving. The children have other children to play with that have gone through similar situations which is somehow comforting to them I believe. To know it is not just them that are going through this hell.”- CH
Read More
My husband is a united states Marine who is continuing to abuse me
Oct 05My husband is a united states Marine who has been allowed and is continuing to abuse me, I had to flee the state for my safety and leave my children behind. I am a black woman married to a white man. Proudly served my country for eight years as a marine and have four college degrees to include a MBA, I have four children. My two youngest are with the abuser and I believe they are now currently being psychologically abused.
I have written my congressman… on this issue. The system wants me to slop harassing my husband as if I am lying about the abuse and is being accused of trying to ruin his career. I am not trying to ruin his career. I’m trying to expose him
for the abuser that he is and how the System is allowing him to do it and now there is no protection for me. Please helpl!!l
A personal note from PK in PA
Oct 05Thanks for your handwritten note.
First we must thank you for enjoying reading the site and for your visits to http://wadt.org, your note follows
—————————–
To Whom It May Concern
————————–
I wanted to write you and tell you how much I enjoy reading your website as a victim of workplace violence. My name is PK, because I need to be safe, I wouldn’t send you any correspondence over the net. I use the internet at The Library because it’s safe….
It’s been years and I really don’t see lady victims of violence ending up happy and spa pampered. I just don’t. I can’t find anything like your site in Philly. I used to be a waitress (my stalker knows this) …..I get food stamps, I haven’t worked in a year. I gotta keep on going. Again thank you and have a nice day.
PK- PA
